It was going to be an uncomfortable conversation. Most conversations ending a working partnership are. During the conversation the client blamed, blurred facts, was hypercritical and played the martyr. She was exactly who she has always been. She was consistent in character.
And because of this, I was not emotionally triggered by her behaviour rather I could hold compassion for her, making the awkwardness tolerable and getting alignment on next steps.
And then there was a conversation with my son…
When I addressed a situation he snapped, yelled and attacked. I was taken aback and ready to defend. Then it dawned on me; this was not consistent in his character. There must be more going on with him.
This recognition allowed me not to be emotionally triggered and I was able to hold compassion for him. My willingness to be curious led to a open conversation where we could find mutual understanding and alignment.
As the saying goes, people are what they repeatedly do. When people consistently prove their character to you, offer your compassion instead of your judgment.
And on the flip side, when people are inconsistent in character, offer your curiosity instead of your judgment.